I know everyone thinks their family is weird, but I think I have a legitimate claim. Between my father's outlandish comments and mother's make believe world, I feel like a co-star in the latest hit reality show. Mix in a few cousins, dogs, and family friends and we are talking about an Emmy winning series or a call to Social Services
There are so many stories to tell, I don't even know where to begin...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
"Hold It!"
Summer, c. 1987
Around dusk, we were headed north on 95. A bunch of us were piled into the brown shaggin' wagon, with wood panelling, on our way home from an amusement park. My dad was driving, I was in the back seat, probably sitting on someones lap, with no seat belt on, and my little brother and cousin managed to get the good seats in the "way back".
I am sure my dad was racing to get home to through back a few ice cold beers, after a day filled with funnel cake, tilt-a-whirls, and everything else magical. Thirty minuets into the car ride, my brother announces that he "has to go potty". My dad replied"Hold it" till we found a place to stop.
That answer was not good enough. My brother was insistent that he would not be able to make it until the next stop. Frustrated, my dad said "If you can't hold it until we find a bathroom, go in your pants." (Don't feel too bad, the kid was probably 7 year old.)
Less than 5 minuets later, the car was brimming with a horrendous odor. Gasping, we each stumbled to find the nearest (manual) window crank, while shouting "What is that small???"
Quietly, without shame or regret, my brother said, "Dad, told me if I couldn't hold it to go in my pants."
Thank goodness his JAMS had a net inside.
Around dusk, we were headed north on 95. A bunch of us were piled into the brown shaggin' wagon, with wood panelling, on our way home from an amusement park. My dad was driving, I was in the back seat, probably sitting on someones lap, with no seat belt on, and my little brother and cousin managed to get the good seats in the "way back".
I am sure my dad was racing to get home to through back a few ice cold beers, after a day filled with funnel cake, tilt-a-whirls, and everything else magical. Thirty minuets into the car ride, my brother announces that he "has to go potty". My dad replied"Hold it" till we found a place to stop.
That answer was not good enough. My brother was insistent that he would not be able to make it until the next stop. Frustrated, my dad said "If you can't hold it until we find a bathroom, go in your pants." (Don't feel too bad, the kid was probably 7 year old.)
Less than 5 minuets later, the car was brimming with a horrendous odor. Gasping, we each stumbled to find the nearest (manual) window crank, while shouting "What is that small???"
Quietly, without shame or regret, my brother said, "Dad, told me if I couldn't hold it to go in my pants."
Thank goodness his JAMS had a net inside.
Friday, January 23, 2009
"It seems that everyone has a blog these days, so I figure I should write one too. Why not? Everyone's got a story to tell."
I keep writing things and deleting them, hoping something relevant or humorous will appear on the screen. Hasn't happened so far...
(I think my title is longer than my entry. Maybe I don't have a story to tell??)
(I think my title is longer than my entry. Maybe I don't have a story to tell??)
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